Have you ever been in a conversation with someone when they preface what they want to say with “Let me be perfectly honest’? Or, “To be totally honest with you…”? or “Let’s be honest.”? Most likely, you have. So have I……..
This past week, I was listening to a radio program where the guest used these phrases a lot. In fact, “ad nauseum!” His syntax was so heavily peppered with these that it made the interview difficult to listen to………..I started keeping count of the phrases, and lost focus of the subject matter completely! So I ask, why would someone need to use these phrases? And, why so often?
The first thought I had about this was that he must not be honest or ‘totally’ honest with anything else he has to say. Otherwise, there would be no reason to keep prefacing his speaking. The second thought I had was, oh my, do I do that when I talk with people? Egad………….
Honestly, (hee hee), I try to be honest all of the time. In fact, I operate on the adage of ‘say what you mean, and mean what you say!’ It’s easier that way and one doesn’t have to keep track of what was said to whom. If the information is the truth, there won’t be any need to try to remember what was said, or which person heard what! Of course, this is from the speaker’s perspective. The listener is obliged to be open and hear, really hear, what is being said. If some of the discussion is not spoken in ‘honesty’, problems will most likely ensue!
Why don’t you do a little experiment, and listen for these phrases for a day, or two or three. Take note of who is speaking, and who is in the conversation with that person. Might be interesting! Or, see if you catch yourself saying any of these phrases……….ask yourself, why did I say that?
I have already heard one of these phrases on the news programs this morning, and am seriously considering contacting the interviewer to ask if the guest is just basically not an honest person or what? This is just an example of how most of the time we get complacent in our listening skills…………personally, I’m going to work harder ………
Honestly though, this is just a thought …